Sydney Shenanigans

Boycott Nestle

2007-10-31T21:09:00.004+11:00

Simpson sweetness

2007-07-05T10:29:00.000+10:00

Long time no blogging. Oh blog, how I have missed you, please accept my one hundred thousand apologies for my slackness of late - but here's some Simpson sweetness for you to drool at. And here is a sweet-as ride below - absolutely no apologies for the pathetic puns!!

As my penance, I promise to put up a series of mini-posts to make up for my savage slothfulness.

I got my leg over a horny camel in the desert!

2007-03-30T15:31:00.000+10:00

My trusty stead for my ride in the desert was the lovely Sandy - he drooled and made weird and interesting noises like no other ride I have ever had to endure. Let me tell you Sandy was one horny devil, his sensitive nostrils could smell the female camel of our caravan from many miles away and I assure you it is not a pleasant experience being on a camel as he gets a whiff of camel fanny.

But Sandy was a lovely creature when he got his libido under control, he had the most gorgeous eyes and beautiful long lashes ... as he battered his eyes at me and flapped his grotesquely long tongue about I couldnt help but feel affection for this majestic creature.

That was at the start of our trek. After roughly 5 minutes of being bounced around on Sandy's back, I realised that certain areas of my anatomy were getting much more pummelling than I would have liked. The constant pounding on my delicate bits was not-so-pleasant and after 2 hours the fear of permanent damage began to set in. This would have been the time to hop off my trusty stead and hop onto the camel-cart that is usually brought along for tourists who get over the novelty of being on a camel and begin to have such worries.

Unfortunately for us though, we had two free-loaders on our trip, Lydia and Mirga, who insisted on lolling about on the camel-cart like ladies of leisure and refused to move their asses and relieve us of the terrible troucing our crotches were enduring. I'm not bitter I swear!

Sunset in the desert was a spectacular experience though and was amazing enough for us to forget all about the injuries we had suffered in the day.

The night-time entertainment came in the form of some local musicans - their instruments and singing provided some pleasant sounds and I'm sure they could be heard for miles around as the sound travelled across the open plains. Then after a few beers it was off to our tents for a good nights sleep.

Oceania House-warming Party

2007-03-26T14:23:00.000+10:00

Well the party of the year happened last Saturday and if you werent there you are officially a total Loser!

Merrelyn, Toli and Me

The party hosts were Merrelyn, Toli and Me and the reason was cuz we just moved into our new house in Marrickville - the theme for the night was Oceania. Pirates, Lifeguards, Coastguards hula girls etc

Viking Merrelyn, Captain Spongebob, Dave the Diver, Captain Bronagh, Teresa and Lifesaver Susan

Alex, Hayley and SpongeBob!

Scott, Captain Nipple, Bronagh and Captain Spongebob - the 4 pirates

The night went absolutely swimmingly (excuse the pun! hehe!) and plenty of fun was had by all. There was of course some circumspect behaviour that I really would be unable to justify or explain so I will just let the photos do the talking!

Captain Spongebob gets tortured by Coastguard Matt as Captain Nipple supervises with an evil-eye.

Some arse-ramming action from Scott and Drew

Captain Nipple with Captain Spongbob who seems to be really enjoying that bread roll!

Coastguard Matt looking funky with the ducky!

Bray looking spiffing with his ducky!

Scott loving the ducky action!

Bray, Cindy and Vinny - I have no idea whats going on here!

for more photos click here!

House-warming Party

2007-03-23T15:09:00.000+11:00

Hey Folks,
there's a party on soon!
Be there or be square!

Long time no blogging! **** Jan 2007: Chemistry-nerds tour Tasmania!

2007-03-09T10:55:00.000+11:00

One hundred thousand apologies for my recent lack of attention to my blog and all you avid readers out there. I will start with some photos from my chemistry nerd tour of Tasmania (AKA the land of the inbreeders) that we did in Jan/Feb. The first photo below was taken at the bottom of Cradle Mountain in Tasmania - before we started the 7-hour ascent. Chemistry nerds: (from left to right) Schilter, Bray, Me, Natasha and Seamus

I do admit that it looks overcast in this first photo but as can be seen in the second photo the day turned out to be quite a scorcher

Chemistry nerds (Part Dieux): (back row/left to right) Bray, Natasha, Me and Seamus (front row/left to right) Schilter and Ellen

After conquering Cradle Mountain, we had a chilled out day cruising the bay at Strahn and the following day we went quad-biking in the dunes

Chemistry nerds (quad-biking): Seamus, Natasha, Bray and me

And check out this cute Alpaca:

The main reason for travelling to Tasmania was to attend the Australian Inorganic Chemistry conference which without a doubt was the highlight of our trip but unfortunately I forgot to get some cool photos to show you all!

2006-12-15T11:21:00.000+11:00

12 Days of Christmas

Check out this classic christmas tune!

Celebrity Look-alikes

2006-11-24T17:00:00.000+11:00

Firstly, please note that I am not as self-obssessed as Moline (AKA Bray) who posted his selebrity similarities last week but I thought I should give it a shot anyway. Well apparently, according to the experts at My Heritage.com, I'm 76% Nicole Kidman and 70 % Eva Longoria!!! Super-sexy, seductively stunning, hot ladies!!

I love this site!! - another photo of me produces even more fabulous results - Wonder-woman, Charlize Theron, Gwenyth Paltrow and Naomi Watts - Splendiferously fabulous I am sure you will agree!!

http://www.myheritage.com

As the lovely lady Jen was visiting me last weekend I thought I would include her look-alikes too - she also came up with some hotties. So we can both be thankful that although we are getting on in years we are still registering on the hotty-scale!!

http://www.myheritage.com

Priscilla - Queen of the Desert

2006-11-22T11:59:00.000+11:00

Already the excitement is setting in - Pip and Hayley had the fabulous idea to get me a ticket to see Priscilla, Queen of the Desert - the Musical. Needless to say, I was (and still am) thrilled. As the countdown clock below shows, in two shakes of a bunny's pompom we will be ecstatically belting our little hearts out to the wonderful tunes of the "on-stage" road movie/musical - there may be some butt-wiggling dancing involved too.

As the story goes, three delightful drag-queens... Mitzi, Felicia and Bernadette are heading west across the desert to Alice Springs in their battered old bus. They are each on their own personal journey of discovery, but together they put on a show unlike anything the locals have never seen before. This promises to be the show of the year and no doubt we will have the bestest day ever.

Click on the link below to see which drag-queen you are. If I was a man I'd be Felicia - what a sexy diva I would be! - in my next lifetime perhaps!!

I'm" Felicia JollyGoodFellow!

Take the Which Priscilla Queen of the Desert Drag Queen Are You? Quiz

Pacman Rules!!

2006-11-14T11:27:00.000+11:00

endless hours of fun for all you good people!!
enjoy!

This is what they say about Scorpios!!!

2006-11-10T00:49:00.000+11:00

Scorpio

You are very dominant in bed, and you like to control your relationship in general.

You are so intense in the sack that none of your partners will ever forget you. You are an amazing lover, because you like to have an equal amount of give and take.

Sex matches: Cancer, Capricorn, Pisces

Take'>http://www.quizuniverse.com/quiz.php?id=35">Take this quiz at QuizUniverse.com

90kms later - I survived the Gong Ride

2006-11-06T14:27:00.000+11:00

At 6am my alarm clock rudely disturbed me from my slumber. Rather bleary-eyed and struggling to remember why the hell my alarm was ringing at 6am, I managed to drag myself out of bed. This seemed very unpleasant at the time but was nothing compared to what I was to experience over the rest of this day.

7:15am was the kick-off time for Team Goldmuff - through the throngs of cyclists all with their trusty steeds we managed to get riding by about 7:30am. Unusually for sunny Sydney, it was a cloudy morning but we were happy with this as blistering heat is not good when you have 90km of serious mountain to conquer.
The first 40km were not too bad and we were trundling along at a good pace. At this point Hayley saw sense and decided she had had enough - she took the train back to Sydney (knee-injury induced realism played a part in this decision making). I stubbornly decided to pedal on, spurred by the thoughts of all the donations I had generously received and not wanting to let my believers down.

This was where the mountains began. No amount of riding could have prepared my vag for what it was about to endure. Serious saddle chaffing was beginning to set in and I was having thoughts that I would never experience the pleasures of the flesh again. Again, your words of encouragement were ringing in my ears and I persevered on.

This was about the time that the gales started. Not only were there 70 degree inclines, there were 70 degree inclines with a gale-force wind blowing in my face. I grimaced (not a good look) and obstinately continued onward. The views, I must say, were amazing but the sand blowing in my face slightly hindered my enjoyment of them.

I thought that once the mountains were over it was gonna be plain-sailing all the way to Wollongong. Not the case. The last 25km were probably the toughest. All-in-all, I survived mountains, winds, saddle-chaffing and vaginal pressure and have lived to tell the tale.

Thanks again to all those who sponsored me - you are a generous bunch. And thanks for your kind words of encouragement - they helped me in my hours of darkness.

Sydney to Wollongong - 90km bike ride

2006-10-26T12:59:00.000+10:00

Call me crazy but on Sunday the 5th of November I am doing a 90km bike ride - Sydney to Wollongong

This is no ordinary bike ride - there are major mountains to negotiate on this course as the map of the elevation below illustrates - and they tell us its "one of the most scenic sporting events this country has to offer".

So the starting venue is Sydney Park in St Peters - almost right outside my front door - thats the easy part getting to the start line. The difficult bit of getting to the finish line - in Wollongong, 90kms away.

The map on the left shows the route we will be taking - cycling south via Brighton Le Sands, the Royal National Park and the spectacular new Sea Cliff Bridge. I quote from the website "When you feel that sea breeze on your face you’ll know it’s been worth the wait" - I'm not so sure that it will be as enjoyable as they make out but we'll see.

Oh and a special thanks to Ollie O'Flanagan for his very helpful tip - he recommends steaks down the jocks to ward off saddle chaff

My team mate Hayley Golden is gonna be my companion on this journey and she will be doing it on her beautiful bike called Belle. - click here for a pic!

For any of you kind generous people out there that would like to sponsor us you can do so by clicking here. Thanks a million to those who have so munificently donated so far - it is very much appreciated.

Oscillate Wildy

2006-10-23T12:43:00.000+10:00

I absolutely couldn't wait to share this with you.

Check out this amazing website called Oscillate Wildly.

This has some quality photos on it exemplified by the one below. There are many more though so I urge you to check it out yourself when you have some spare time on your hands!

In comparison, another website we have come across is Sexy Scientists - I suggest you take a glance at this - you won't need much time as we all are well aware chemistry is not exactly the domain of the hottie - but we agree here in the office that Regan Jones certainly has potential and may be the exception that proves the rule!

Happy Birthday Jen! - Fond Memories of Melbourne and AFL Hotties!!

2006-10-17T10:20:00.000+10:00

This post is dedicated to Jen on the occasion of her 29th Birthday!!

Happy Birthday Sexy Lady!!

Jean's sultry and seductive expression in this photo is reminiscent of the general atmosphere of the weekend we spent in Melbourne - there were hotties, horniness and lots of loving going on. Yan looks a little bit worried - I wouldn't blame him to be honest - the only man looking after three seriously sexy and horny ladies.

Jean and Jen are smiling so hard their faces hurt - not the only body part to be a little sore after the weekend of debauchery - but more on that later.

Back to the hotties ...

Quite honestly, I don't think any of us really had a clue what was happening on the pitch but nonetheless it was very enjoyable to watch and we all agreed it was a magnificent way to spend an evening.

The Hawthorne boys stretch before play

The Essenden boys stretch before play

Helen, Jen and the boys come out to play

Reminiscing on Dr Jean's visit - A day-trip to the Blue Mountains

2006-10-12T00:19:00.000+10:00

What fond memories I have of Jean's visit to Sydney and the many gay old times we enjoyed together. On a beautiful sunny day, my good friend Merrelyn was kind enough to take us on a trip to see the Jenolan caves and The Three Sisters out in the Blue Mountains.

The day started with a tour of one of the Jenolan Caves known as the Temple of Baal - these caves were recently found to be over 340 million years old so are the oldest open caves in the world - they are spectacular, with many beautiful features and lots of phallic imagery!

Then it was time to stop for our little picnic of the Suzy-homemaker sambos that I had made for us - even the parrots were trying to get a nibble.

After a good feed we drove out to see the Three Sisters, in all their glory, and took the steepest railway train in the world down the side of the mountain. Luckily we didnt have to climb back up as there was a cablecar conveniently located to haul us back to the summit.

What a wonderfully civilised day ... until Jean managed to lower the tone by molesting some of the local folk.

Dr Muffster finds it impossible to resist fondling this poor unforunate's manhood.

The Alchemist ball

2006-10-05T16:43:00.000+10:00

The annual Alchemist Ball (read "chemistry piss-up of the year") was held at the Star room overlooking the splendiferous Darling Harbour. The evening started out in a very civilised manner with most attendees courteous enough to turn-up sober (even we managed that) and in fabulous costumery but due to the unendless supply of free alcoholic beverages that were available it descended into a drunken mess fairly rapidly.

It would be an understatement of the highest order to say that we were baloobas and as depicted below some of the antics involved Pip mounting me in the middle of the dancefloor - which severly interferred with my wonderful shape-throwing. I thought this was hilarious at the time but in retrospect (when I look at the look of pure pleasure on Pip's face in the photo below) I think she may have been enjoying the experience a little too much ... if you catch my drift!

Around midnight or so they ejected us all from the premises and our revellry was forced to move on to other locations. En route to one of the late drinking emporiums we stumbled (literally) upon a couple of very attractive birds which we found impossible to resist mounting and riding in true bird-loving fashion!!

Mingling with the famous James Davies and Bazz*Ltd

2006-09-25T15:13:00.000+10:00

On an excursion to Bondi to see the famous James Davies perform live at the Beach Road Hotel we also got to see Amanda Baker and her band and we were lucky enough to spend some time sharing some fresh beverages and enjoying the jovial company of the famous Bazz*Ltd.

While the James Davies gig was most enjoyable and Amanda Baker and her band gave an absolutely splendiferous performance, the highlight of our evening was seeing Bazz*Ltd perform live for us at the Bondi Hotel. Here is a link of the Bazz*Ltd video which features a dancing roller-pig in the background.

Missing you already tenderbutton

2006-09-19T23:32:00.000+10:00

It is with a steady stream of tears trickling down my cheeks that I relay the sad announcement of the impending demise of tenderbutton. This spectacular website, of the most extreme nerdiness, kept us in the office entertained on many an uneventful avo (as is the vernacular 'round these parts) and also provided plenty of fodder for our lunchtime conversations.

I know there will be many people mourning the loss of this cheerful fellow blogger who was an expert in the area of blogging and making the most boring crap seem funny. I remember with much fondness the day when we first stumbled across tenderbutton's site - it was the earwax post if I remember correctly and from that day on we were hooked - getting our regular fixes in between trips to the lab etc.

Oh and yes that is a photo of some earwax that he pulled out of his ear and analysed in the chemistry lab.

Surprise Mum, I’m getting married!

2006-09-19T22:49:00.000+10:00

This post is brought to you by special request from Erin-the-drug-dealer (I was hoping to spare people's feelings and ease you all gently into the realisation that I am now officially off the market)

Anyway, back to the business at hand .... How could I have forgotten to mention my most important news of all – I am now betrothed to a young gentleman and it only cost me 10c. This delightful young fellow was willing to accept the measley sum of 5c but I was having none of that and insisted on paying him double – a veritable bargain I am sure you will agree!

My apologies to those out there who are upset at the sad nature of this post (avert your eyes if necessary)- I know the hopes of many young men are dashed at this announcement. Also, apologies for the poor quality of the photos - drunkeness and photography are not compatible.

Pip's dalliance with the famous James Davies and her quest for Ginger-porn

2006-09-18T10:54:00.000+10:00

In Kinselas, one of the fine establishments on Oxford Street, Roller-pig meets the famous James Davies. The fact that he was comatose on a couch at the time was not a problem for Roller-pig, in fact I think she saw it as quite an advantage and she made her swoop on the unsuspecting victim. As we had not enough alcohol in our systems at this stage, James introduced us to another excellent drinking emporium on Oxford St known as the Courthouse. This was the venue for the dalliance to descend into a new level of drunkeness and provided the impetus for Roller-pig to ascend into an alcohol-fuelled rage. As the pictorial story-board verifies, this saga involved stealing his hat and trying to claim it as her own. James proved wise to her wiley ways and managed to retrieve his hat but not without experiencing the wrath of a drunken Roller-pig. All-in-all, I think you will agree, he took it rather well and apart from being called a psycho-bitch, Roller-pig emerged from the encounter unscathed.

Earlier in the evening a trip to Adult World was necessary as the Roller-pig's search for Ginger-porn continues. The shop-assistant was not too helpful as Roller-pig repeatedly asked random questions such as: "Could you direct me to the Ginger section?", "Have you got any ginger?" and "Do you think there's a market for Ginger-porn?". The ultimate outcome is we have decided to make our own ginger-porn starring Fire-crotch and some other random gingers yet to be decided - we are taking applications for candidates so feel free to submit a recent photo if you think you would be suitable.

*Erin's hen's nite**

2006-09-11T00:57:00.000+10:00

Warning!!!

this site contains arse, nudity and anal penetration!!!

(only kiddin' about the last bit)

also introducing Ellen the Cock-savage

Erin and Steve have decided to take the plunge into a life of marital bliss - Erin decided she just can't wait any longer for her cherry to be popped.

Saturday was the appointed nite to celebrate the impending end of Erin the sad and lonely virgin. This involved lubrications of many kinds to liven us up - including Quick Fucks, Slippery Nipples, around 500 penii (90% of these were hogged by the cock-savage - see below) and a couple of truck-loads of KY-jelly.

Erin, being the sexy diva that she is, table-danced the night away into the wee hours of the morning and gave us all a special treat as she was wearing her new crotchless knickers! - sweet beaver!!

Ellen, the ultra-smart lady now known as cock-savage, was not content with only one penis but rather insisted on having one of each variety - a caucasian and a black one. This kept her occupied for a while (about 2 minutes) until she got bored and decided to hog almost every penis in the establishment - trying to shove as many into her mouth as she could demonstrating to us all her very accomplished deep-throating skills - we were all in awe of her amazing talent. Sam, you are one lucky man.

Then came the strippers - yes there were 2 but unfortunately only one can be featured here for copy-right reasons. The photos above tell the story themselves and I will let you ponder them for as long as you wish as I am now forced to retire for the evening.
(P.S. Muffster - remember what we discussed - always wipe front to back)

Next posting will detail Roller-pig and her quest for ginger-porn and the saga of her daliance with the famous James Davies

Gomez Rock

2006-09-10T16:19:00.000+10:00

Wednesday night was an outing to see Gomez live at the Forum in the Sydney Entertainment Centre. Bray, Hayley (aka Fire-crotch), Pip (aka Roller-pig) and I went to a local drinking emporium for some fresh pre-gig imbibements.

Gomez kept us entertained for the evening and despite the stormy weather outside we thoroughly enjoyed ourselves- check out the video clips below for some pathetically amateur footage - you would be forgiven for thinking that I was suffering from severe DTs or possibly even Parkinson's Disease but I assure you this is not the case.

And here are some random photos from the gig just thrown in for your perusal.

My next post will contain some interesting photos from the gleeful antics of Erin's hen night and as an added bonus I introduce Ellen-the-Cock-Savage. There will also be a special feature of Roller-pig's quest for ginger-porn and I promise to include some photos of myself as had been kindly requested :-)

Rasta-Muff rides the Wild-Mouse

2006-08-25T00:07:00.000+10:00

Luring us into a false sense of playful fun was the rollar-coaster ride at Luna Park called Wild-Mouse. From ground-level this looks like a fairly tame ride (at least compared to what we are used to) but boy were we mistaken - lets just say I have heard Jean scream but this took screaming to another level. There were pale faces and soiled knickers all-round for us four ladies.

Rast-muff and Teresa breathe a sigh of relieve as they disembark from the Wild-Mouse

From chemistry-geek to internet-freak

2006-08-24T23:52:00.000+10:00

is it possible that i can descend any deeper into the abyss of nerdiness?

Finally into the land of nerds I venture.... it was only a matter of time before I would succumb to the pressure to create a Blog of my fun and frolics in Sydney.

The recent visit of Dr Jean "Muffster" Lee (AKA the doctor of love and all things filthy)* juiced me up with the necessary gusto to document our explorations in Sydney and its surrounds.

Although it pains me to admit it, my life did not have meaning until I was graced with her visit and my dull and meagre existence was to suddenly and dramatically change as Jean bounced full of sexual-gusto into my life (and my bed).

* p.s. I dont mean to say that love is filthy just that Jean is a specialist in the areas of both love and of filth